I was thinking I need to spend some focused God time and update this blog and this song came up first when I hit shuffle on my “worship” playlist. It’s quite appropriate. Last Sunday something was said at church about it being possible for us to have a relationship with God and although that’s kind of old news to me I was hit with how much I live my life not in relationship with God. I think I live a pretty good “Christian” life as far as morals and such are concerned but sadly I couldn’t say that I live in relationship with God most of the time. I go about my business, shoot up a prayer every now and then, and fill my time and thoughts with lab work during the day and food, TV, and internet at night. I’d like to say after last Sunday I made time with God a priority again, but sadly I didn’t. Another busy week flew by and then come Sunday I realize how much time was wasted. During communion at Church today I found myself praying the all too familiar prayer “God forgive me for going through my week as if I had no relationship with you.” It hurts me to pray that prayer but all too often that’s the case. Once again I remember His grace ask Him to work on my heart and help me make this week different.
This semester promises to be a doozie. I am teaching a double load. I am writing and defensing my dissertation. Securing a job remains at the back of my mind. I always need God but this semester I really don’t think I can make it without him. Here’s to hoping and praying I can make a change and follow through with what I know I need to do.